The 22nd Dose: My "So Called" Spiritual Life

I am BACK from Retreat, and it's been a good time of spiritual as well as personal reflection.

I said in the last post that I was going to attempt to make an "Ignatian Retreat." St. Ignatius' process of retreating involves 4 steps which are intended to take 4 weeks from beginning to end.The process is as follows:

Week 1: Self Examination and Repeated Confession

Week 2: Contemplation on the Life of Jesus

Week 3: Contemplation on the Passion & Crucifixion of Jesus

Week 4: Contemplation on the Resurrection and Ascension of Jesus

St. Ignatius (1491-1559) wrote in the formative Medieval years between the Scholastic Period and the Renaissance. His his pattern of these exercises and meditations, although not explicitly so (I've drawn my own conclusion here) follow the pattern of the Rosary, which was still in development as a set meditative prayer system at this time.

When one prays a rosary these days, you pray a repeating mantra (Hail Mary...), and while you are doing so, you contemplate one of three sets of 5 meditations: the Joyful Mysteries (focusing mostly on the happier moments in the life of Jesus), the sorrowful mysteries (focusing heavily on the passion and crucifixion), and the triumphant mysteries (focusing on the period from Jesus' resurrection until his Ascension into Heaven).

The significant difference here is that Ignatius has one meditate for at least an hour on each exercise, and then you repeat the exercises to grow and meditate more and more attentively until such time as the retreatant has been thoroughly moved by participation in the life of our Lord Jesus.

Although I did not have the time to commit an hour to each meditation, I spent a great deal of my time meditating on the crucifixion, and drawing images of it. I drew three images of the crucifixion: one was actually the completion of an image I began last year during Holy Week for my friend Fr. Foster; the second one was a new drawing which I completed with color pencil and gave to our retreat leader Fr. Houlding in thanks for his time away from his parish and country (He's from London); and the third was a drawing of Jesus' face from the (significantly zoomed in) perspective of the penitent thief on the cross adjacent to our Lord.

All in all, I think that this exercise was very moving for me, because it made me think about the tactile details of the crucifixion. What I mean by that is: I had to think about what my hand would look like if a nail went through it. Would it remain flat, or would my fingers curl? How would my arms look if I were hanging there under a weight instead of being supported by a beam? Where would the blood have dripped from my hands? Down my arms and into my armpits ? Down the cross? Would the wood soak it up, or would it run and drip on the ground? What about the crown of thorns? How long are the thorns? what do they feel like? I put my fingernails on the top of my head and just rested them there under the weight of my hand alone. That was significantly uncomfortable by itself. And so my thoughts went on and on as I made each detail of the drawings come together.

All of this thought would have been impossible without leaving room for quiet thought, without distraction.

On a personal level, the retreat was also good for me because of the thought I gave to my personal life. As occasionally happens with workaholics (like myself), I have come to pour too much time into work and the needs of my Church, and not nearly enough time into my personal life. Until this retreat, I hadn't had much rest, and truthfully my rest has not been very good since then. But I've become more aware of a real need to spend a little more time with friends and family. All of my personal relationships tend to come second to work in my life, and I really have given thought to unplugging a little more. I've even thought about getting a dog. (Please do not call me to offer me your dog. I've got something in mind...)

All this is to say that retreat time works differently for everyone, but it is good to step back and get some perspective from time to time. This is true of artwork, as well as life in general. You've got to occasionally step back from the routine to evaluate your work, and then regroup and reorder your efforts.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

In lieu of a WORD of the WEEK...
...I want to say something about Developing your Spiritual Life.

Everyone is different, but we can use a similar pattern in developing our life with God. Everyone prays a little different. Some people pray only when they need things. Others have a continual conversation with God at times, while at other times being quite silent toward God, although perhaps not necessarily distant. But most people who live in a state of sin, without occasionally returning to God, gradually feel that a great chasm has come between them and God, and are often afraid to even attempt to build a bridge over that gap. They don't feel as though they have nearly enough materials to build that bridge.

The only remedy to this problem is to make a conscious effort, and get some help. Just as problems come in various forms, so do remedies. Some people like books, while others need movies or videos or visual illustrations to help them come to a remedy.

At any rate, EVERYONE needs to set a standard or develop a RULE of LIFE. All monastic orders do this. Really, if you think about it, every society has rules that govern how we get along, and how we deal with problems. This is actually going to be the theme of my Lent Program this year: The Monastic Way of Life. (I'll discuss this more as the weeks of Lent progress, and I'll essentially follow the pattern of the Lent Program in the blog so you can follow along if you're unable to attend).

But without going into too much detail, here is my basic format for creating a balanced pattern of life:

1. Diagnosis- using 10 Commandments and 7 Deadly Sins to determine where your problems are most prevalent.
2. Clean house- learning how to put sin way through performing an Examination of Conscience and making a good Confession.
3. Replacing Sins with Virtues- learning how to discover the "medicine" to counter the spiritual ailments that afflict you through learning about the Virtues and the Fruits of the Spirit.
4. Developing Good Habits- Taking on good habits of reading daily doses of Holy Scripture or other good Spiritual Reading, developing a daily prayer life, and learning to use the Sacraments to the maximum benefit of your soul.
5. Aim to be in the presence of God in Heaven- inasmuch as we don't all have a process like this up until this point, it is important to remember that the final destination of all Souls is to be in the presence of God. This last step reminds us to focus on preparing a place for ourselves in heaven, and remembering to put things in the hands of God. Self-emptying is often incorporated into the first step of diagnosis in preparation for confession, but this step of achieving total humility in acknowledging our total dependence on God is critical to our relationship with him. Achieving this can alleviate many of the greatest apprehensions we carry through life, and bring the greatest relief to the soul that lives in torment or under great pressure.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

BOOK of the WEEK: The Spiritual Life by Evelyn Underhill

I'll continue to recommend books such as this as we move through Lent, however I think Evelyn Underhill's books are a wonderful resource for the modern mind, because her original writings and addresses were in English (because she was English!), as opposed to most of the great theological minds whose original texts were in Greek, Hebrew, or Latin and endure some loss in translation.

Evenly Underhill (1875-1941) could rightly be defined as a Mystic of the 19th-2oth century. She was a wonderful author who led many retreats, and developed addresses for radio broadcast to teach the people of England about the Spiritual Life. She was sadly killed during the bombings of England during the 2nd World War, but her writings are VERY easy to read, and are truly wonderful.

The Clergy of my Deanery studied one of her addresses as a group during Advent. The address we studied was addressed to the prayer life of the clergy, and we ALL found that it convicted us to do more with our prayer lives. She began by saying, "What would a woman in the Church of England know about the prayer needs of the clergy, but it seems..." and then she lays out a brilliant discourse on the ideal prayer life of a clergyman.

If you wanted to develop a terrific pattern of reading, I highly recommend that you begin with THIS text, and then work your way through her other works, and then perhaps work your way back through the various mystics in history to see who inspired her. You WILL find this to be a wonderful spiritually nourishing experience. I guarantee it!!!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I pray this post has been worth of missing a week due to my retreat.

If you'd like to talk to me directly about tailoring a process to suit your particular needs, please do so. As I said earlier, everyone is different, but I'm happy to help you develop a rule or process that will work for you and bring you closer to God. God our Father loves us, and he desires most to have a good relationship with us, his children.

Blessings as we draw nearer and nearer to Lent.

Fr. Jon+

The 21st Dose: RETREAT!!!!!

This has been a somewhat HECTIC week, because next week I'll be on our Annual Clergy Retreat.

It's hectic because in order to take time away from the parish next week, that meant I had to do ALL of the things I would normally do next week along with all of the work I had this week. This includes end-of-the month meetings, writing and publishing the parish newsletter, and preparing for all of next week's services a week in advance.

Isn't the whole point to GET AWAY from all of this work and spend time in prayer?! And the answer is, YES! Indeed it is! which leads into our Word of the Week:

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

WORD OF THE WEEK: RETREAT

(Late middle English from Latin "retrahere" = "to pull back")

The Theological Dictionary describes a retreat as: "A time set aside, often at a special place, for the renewal of the spiritual life, often through the use of religious exercises such as silence, meditation and reflection. It is both a place and a spiritual experience of groups and/or individuals."

The normal Dictionary reads: "To withdraw from enemy forces as a result of their superior power, or after a defeat."

QUITE A DIFFERENCE!

Usually when we talk about "retreating" in the Church context, we talk about the sort of retreat I'm taking next week along with my brother priests (and occasionally a couple of our sister Deaconesses). But in battle, when someone yells "RETREAT!" it means that you're being over-run by the enemy, or overwhelmed, or are otherwise in danger of losing ground. And in some ways, this is what parish life can do to a Priest.

When a Priest sacrifices his life to give of his schedule to the people of his parish, we often find that this schedule is erratic, and doesn't always follow our agenda. Some things do go according to plan, such as Sunday Mass, Bible Study, and our Morning and Evening Prayer routines--well, so long as we don't allow interruptions.

But there is a vast amount of our time that is interrupted with all kinds of things. During office hours, and quite often outside of office hours, people call with all kinds of needs, requests, and demands on our time. Some are things the parish Secretary could handle on behalf of the Priest, such as: prayer requests, Sunday bulletin announcements, information about parish events, (in our case hundreds of calls about our Food Bank), and parishioners asking for people's phone numbers (despite the new parish directory which s readily available); while other things are exclusive to the Priest: hospital calls, pastoral counseling, confession, personal conversations about private matters, and thousands of things you'd never think about nor predict.

You might not think about it this way, but talking to dozens of people a day, especially Sunday morning, about dozens of different topics, each with it's own demand on the memory: date, time, hospital name, room number, phone number, and so on...is mentally EXHAUSTING. I used to be a valet driver and I bartended at a piano bar from 10am til 4am the following day, standing up and sometimes running almost the entire day. That was taxing on my knees, but I could handle it. Now, after 6 hours of Sunday morning (6am until noon), with far less physical labor, I'm wiped out! Then add that demand day after day for a week running, and it's really a good formula for exhaustion.

Then, if you add to this the fact that people call us on our ONE day off to ask all sorts of things that could wait until the next day, or could be handled by someone such as the parish secretary, then you really are in danger of burning out if you don't take a day or two AWAY to recuperate.

So what balances all of this?

The answer is complicated, but it comes down to simply having a balanced daily life, including time away from the phone and office for prayer at least 3 times a day, rest when we can find it, and the occasional stretch of a few days away from the parish to clear the mind. Otherwise, it's really easy to burn out...most especially if the prayer is set aside to start the day of work, or when we continue to work, skipping evening prayer, well beyond the end of the workday.

Most clergy I know who feel burned out have significantly neglected their daily prayers, which sounds awful, but it's not hard when you understand how many distractions we have. The devil doesn't take a single day off, and sickness doesn't know a time of day, nor day of the week.

But, the good thing about praying in a Church is that there's nothing in there to distract you EXCEPT what you bring into it--especially during the week. Sunday morning/Saturday night might be a little different story, as we like to visit with friends, or people make noises when we're trying to pray, and things like that. But if you don't bring in a phone, or turn it off for a few minutes a day to enjoy some time in quiet prayer with God, it can be refreshing to start your day asking God to look-on and share the load, and end the day with God lifting your burden until the next morning.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

BOOK OF THE WEEK: The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius

SO...next week I'll be at Montserrat, which is a Jesuit Retreat House in and on "Lake Dallas." (It's a town and a lake). I never understood why it was called Montserrat, or why the Chapel was dedicated to St. Ignatius of Loyola, until I began reading a book last month called The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. (For more on the life of St. Ignatius click here.)

In my reading, I've discovered that St. Ignatius was a monk who had a talent in leading Spiritual Retreats, and he began a number of retreat houses, one of which was called "Montserrat." He also wrote a series of spiritual exercises to be used to train Priests in a life of prayer and contemplation. Those exercises have been added to and redacted over the years, until eventually all Jesuit Priests, at least in his day, were required to make an "Ignatian Retreat" at least once a year.

I've only been attending this retreat for 3 years, but we've never done an Ignatian Retreat, despite that the place we go to take a retreat is a JESUIT retreat house called MONTSERRAT and the Chapel is dedicated to ST. IGNATIUS! I began asking around, and I've learned that as far back as some of my fellow Priests can remember, we've NEVER had an "Ignatian Retreat" as a Diocese.

So, this year, although we have a retreat speaker who will lead us in some kind of a meditation, I've decided to try to do the Ignatian thing by myself. It's written to be used over 4 weeks, but the author says it can be expounded or reduced as necessary. That is to say, 8 weeks instead of 4, or 4 days instead of 4 weeks. It' gonna be 4 days crowded with prayer and meditations, but I think it will be refreshing.

I've been reading the exercises, trying to get a handle of the format, and I think this IS possible. It's going to take a little discipline, but I think it should be fruitful.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Well, that's all for this week dear readers!

I hope to post something next week at the end of my retreat to tell you of my progress with this exercise. It will likely not come until Friday. This might surprise you, but not all Jesuit Retreat houses have Wifi, although I think this one actually might! At any rate, I'm going to be too busy to use it, so you'll have to wait until Friday morning at best.

Have a wonderful week! Say a prayer for me to get some REST. I could really use it on this retreat!

Blessings,

Fr. Jon+

The 20th Dose: New Years' Resolutions

The topic I've been approached the most about lately is the subject of New Years' Resolutions.

In last week's post, I suggested that you all check out my article on this subject in our latest parish newsletter, but since the website hasn't been updated with the latest materials just yet, I though I'd share it here while it's still a timely subject. (My apologies to those of you who read this AND my newsletter. You're getting double coverage, but others have expressed an interest.)

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

We have another early Lent this year, with Ash Wednesday coming on February 17th to begin another season of penitence and preparation. (For those of you unfamiliar with Lent, that means "Fat Tuesday" or "Mardi Gras" is only 2 days after Valentines Day this year!) I’ve always found a lot of similarities between New Years’ Resolutions and whatever it is people give up for Lent. Sometimes people resolve, instead of "giving things up" to take things on. Making the transition from sin or vice to virtue is always a matter of doing both: giving up sin or bad things, and taking on a good practice or virtuous behaviors.

Every Ash Wednesday I compare the act of “giving something up for Lent” directly to New Years’ Resolutions, and I do so in the context of suggesting that if you plan to give something up or make a positive change, make it something you plan to give up FOR GOOD, and keep as a PERMANENT CHANGE.

Usually, New Years’ Resolutions have something to do with diet, exercise, or overall health, including, but not limited to: eating less, eating healthier, getting back in shape, quitting smoking, and hoping to improve our overall health and self-image.

However, few people take on spiritual disciplines, and I think it’s a real shame, because the health of your body is very closely linked to the health of your soul. Sin and pain are always tied together, as are forgiveness and restoration to health and even LIFE. Improving the health of your soul ALWAYS improves your self-image, your relationship with God, and there-by the health of your conscience (less guilt), and of course, your actual physical well-being.

Gluttony and Lust are the most popular of the 7 Deadly sins (although Pride is the most prevalent sin), and usually, self-control and temperance are the most needed virtues among those who make their confession this time of year. Might I suggest that when you make your New Years’ resolutions and Lenten disciplines this year, you look more closely at them from a spiritual point of view.

If you want to truly fix a problem, you must follow these steps for the remedy to stick long-term:
1. Identify the Problem—if you can’t pinpoint the root problem that causes you to falter again and again, seek some spiritual guidance. This IS what I’m/We're here for! Ask your Priest for advice. If you’re afraid of the confessional, know that we’re just as willing to talk with you casually and keep your concerns private. We want you to get better--we don’t care to gossip, and in fact are forbidden to do so.

2. Pray for God’s Help—Once you know your problem, you should ask God to help you with it. Ask him for the grace to overcome your problems, and pray daily for his support. ow can God share your burden if you don't offer it to him to share?

3. Get an "Accountability Partner"—Ask a friend to help you. We often drop our promises to ourselves because we know that no one is watching. Ask someone else to keep you accountable and maybe even get them to join you in your pursuit of virtue. Get someone to workout with you, share meals, exercise, and yes….even PRAY! Our friends can be a big help if we share our burdens with them. St. Paul suggests this in some way in ALL of his letters: “Support one another, and pray for me!”
See: Romans 15:30; 1st Corinthians 16:13ff; 2nd Corinthians 13:5ff; Galatians 6:1ff; Ephesians 5:10ff; Philippians 4:4ff; Colossians 4:2-6; 1st Thessalonians 5:11ff; 2nd Thessalonians 3:1ff; 1st Timothy 6:11ff; 2nd Timothy 4:1-8; Titus 3:1-9; and Philemon vv.4-7 (“ff” means “…and following”)

4. Desire a Change—If you don’t have something to motivate you, you will have no goal and no real target to achieve, and thus, no way to know when you're strayed from your desired change. Give yourself a goal that you truly desire, and set up some kind of a reminder. Put a photo of a dress you want to fit into on the fridge, or pictures of your children (if you’re a smoker and want to quit and live longer), or write the goal on a piece of paper and look at it every day to check-in until you achieve it. Make it something you can reasonably achieve and stay-after-it! We all need motivations, and it's certainly acceptable to promise yourself a reward at the end of a journey....just make sure you actually reach your destination before you go enjoying that reward!

5. Behave as though you’re already doing it—Walk as you talk! If you want to eat healthier, just start. Make it one day, and then the next day, say to yourself, “I’ve already begun, I’m just continuing the good work.” Build one day at a time. Gradually you'll find that you are actually making progress in holiness or good behavior, and it will motivate you to keep it up.

These 5 steps will help you remedy almost any problem. If this doesn’t work, come see me, or Email me, and I’ll help you find the right solution!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

WORD OF THE WEEK: RESOLUTION

(Middle English Translation from Latin: "resolvere" = "to loose or release"

A resolution is a FIRM decision to DO, or NOT to do something.

Right off the bat, I can tell you my Star Wars nerd friends will quote Yoda: "Do, or Do NOT. There is no try." And this quote is a perfect example of what this word illustrates. This phrase was spoken in response to his young trainee Luke, who is lukewarm about his calling. Yoda asks Luke to do something, and his response is, "I'll try...". His master's pointis simply that it does one no good to aim for an expectation of failure, but rather to aim for an expetation of real success.

A resolution is a commitment to follow through or to give something our best effort. Many people in this world have a REAL HARD TIME with commitment. Especially in the USA, the people are becoming more and more of a "consumerist" society. "I'll take a little of this, and a little of that, and if it gets uncomfortable or challenging, I'll just move on."

ANYTHING WORTHWHILE you do in this life is almost certainly going to cost you effort, commitment, sacrifice, and require a firm resolution from you in order to achieve or surpass it! The same is true with love. Anyone or anything you love is going to cause you some heart-ache, and require a little sacrifice out of you. We must resolve to strive for the things which are good for us, and those whom we love...especially our families, and that includes GOD!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I pray you ALL resolve to do something good with your life this year! We can all make a change for the better. Follow the steps, and get ready for a better life...but expect a few obstacles on the path.

Have a Wonderful Week!

Fr. Jon+

The 19th Dose: Eye-Opening Events

Happy New Year dear people!

My Christmas celebrations at the Church were lightly attended due to incliment weather, but my family celebrations were very VERY GOOD! My Mom came over, as did my pop, and my brother not only bought me a gift this year, but he actually got it to me on Christmas Eve. Apparently NONE of them read my blog, so I didn't seen any argyle socks (except from my surrogate mothers), but Home Depot Gift cards are a staple, so it was a good Christmas for everyone.

Yesterday marked the end of the 12 Days of Christmas with the Epiphany of the Christ to the Gentiles, which most of you probably know as the arrival of the 3 Wise men, or 3 Magi, or 3 Kings. (p.s. it is now safe to take down your christmas decorations...or perhaps after this Sunday.)

A couple of years ago, one of my favorite Confessors and dear frineds, Fr. Jim Kaestner, sent me a card for Epiphany as a response to a Christmas card I sent him. Fr. K is a senior Priest, a little rough around the edges, like myself, and far more foul-mouthed than I admit I am. But he is a holy priest, and a good mentor. Anyhow, he said something to me in the card that has stayed with me for these last few years. He said, "Jon, you must remember that when those 3 men visited the infant Christ, they were irrevocably CHANGED."

Since then, when I read the lessons from Matthew about their visitation, I give more attention to the part of the story which says: "Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, saying, 'Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the East, and have come to worship him.'" (Matthew 2:1-2)

Then, when Herod heard this it troubled him, and it troubled many of the Chief Priests and Scribes. They began to ask where Jesus was to be born, according to the prophesies.

The thing that I've accented for you is what sticks out to me the most...those three Kings came to worship the infant Jesus--which means "Savior." It troubled Herod that these powerful men came to worship another King. Not to just pay homage, nor to merely give birthday presents [and Christmas Presents ;)], but to WORSHIP him.

Given the history of Israel's powerful kings, Herod had every reason to be afraid. Israel/Judah hadn't had a king for a few hundred years, since they were taken away to captivitiy. This child could be a huge threat down the line, which is why Herod tried to have him killed [look up the Feast of the Holy Innocents]. Herod ruled and occupied the territory that belonged to the King of Israel and God's chosen people. Everyone else who ever occupied that territory died in great numbers at the hand of a KING of ISRAEL.

But I think the Scribes and Pharisees were afraid of something else. Perhaps they were afraid that someone would usurp their power. Perhaps they were afraid that the King would find them taking advantage of the people in the temple (which Jesus did, turning over the tables of the money-changers). Or perhaps they were afraid that the return of the King would begin the last judgment. After all, they'd already heard a few apocalyptic prophesies about the Son of God coming to separate the righteous from those who oppose God.

At any rate, once the 3 Kings visited Jesus, they offered him gifts and worshipped him, and they were changed by his presence. That evening, after they honored the Son of God, they were warned by angels in a dream to depart without visiting Herod. After all, it is entirely likely that Herod would have visited his wrath upon them for not telling him where to find the child.

When we encounter the presence of Jesus, it CHANGES us. The same is true for the presence of God and the Holy Spirit. When we open ourselves up to God, or allow the Holy Spirit to flow through us, or truly meditate on the life of Christ and his sacrifice for our sins on the Holy Cross, it touches us, it moves us, it sanctifies us, and ultimately, it changes us.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

WORD OF THE WEEK: EPIPHANY (Greek: "epiphanein"= apprearing, enlightening)

Much like the words Revelation and Apocalypse, Epiphanies have to do with making things apparent that were not recognized before. Usually when we speak of epiphanies, we talk about things that were already there, but we just didn't realize their presence. All great epiphanies we experience are made the more suprising by the fact that once we realize them, we realize that they were there all along.

The Epiphany for all of Israel at the time of Jesus was not only the revelation of the Messiah, but the revelation that God intended to save all of humanity. Israel thought of themselves as God's "chosen people," which they were, but they were CHOSEN to do a task: to be a Priestly Nation to bring all peoples to the knowledge and love of God. This is also OUR mission as Disciples of Jesus Christ.

God reveals himself to his people through his actual presence, through angels or messengers, through prophets, through scriptures, through his incarnate Word made flesh--Jesus his Son, and then through Apostles, Priests, and even in the voices of ordinary people, from children to the elderly, all of whom share the news that God loves us, and he wants us to love him.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

BOOK OF THE WEEK: The Penny Catechism

Many of the truths of the faith are hidden from us because we don't know where to look, and/or we don't know the questions to ask when we have someone that can help us develop our faith.

Catechisms are wonderfu because they ask the question, AND give us the answer. A Catechism is exactly that: a way of teaching by giving you the question and the answer.

This book is great for anyone who wants to rekindle their faith, and develop their understanding of God's work in the world, and more importantly, in their lives. It's an "easy-to-digest" resource. If you buy this book, and hten want more, talk to me and I'll suggest the next step.

You can usually find The Penny Catechism for under $4, and this is a teriffic place to start in inspiring an Epiphany in our own lives.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Have a wonderful New Year!

Make your resolutions something you can achieve, but don't be afraid to aim high. (For more on making good Resolutions see my article in the January parish newsletter at www.ChristTheKingFortWorth.com ).

Happy Epiphany!
-Fr. Jon+

The 18th Dose: Countdowns and Expectations

Well, the count-down is ON, and it doesn't really seem to STOP!

What I mean is that the next couple of weeks seem to be all about ticking away the hours until SOMETHING is coming:

Only 7 days until Christmas...or as they say, 7 shopping days left! Then it's only 7 days until New Year's Eve. Then New Year's Eve has it's own countdown....10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Now drink some cheap champagne and give your sweetie a smooch! (And make sure it's YOUR sweetie...it's easy to make a mistake when so many people are smoochin' at once!)

Then the countdown continues, at least for most families...

...countdown until we have to go back to work,

...countdown until the kids go back to school,

...countdown until you have to take your Canonical Exams (for the Seminarians among my readers, THIS is the BIG ONE),

...and who knows what else?

The thing that sticks out most to me about countdowns is the relative aNxIeTiEs or pressures that come with countdowns, even for joyful things. The countdown can be so aggravating that when we actually get to the celebration, we're exhausted from even thinking about it!

It seems that the pressure builds and time moves faster toward the end...but the truth is that it doesn't. Time moves steadily, at an even pace, it doesn't go faster nor slower...it just marches ON! WE, however, perceive it differently based upon our expectations.

As we approach this Christmas, in expectation of the coming of Jesus into our homes, I ask you to examine your expectations with the following questions:

1. How is Jesus going to bless your Christmas celebrations unless you INVITE Him to come?

2. What is the BEST thing you expect to get out of Christmas? Is it a gift from someone else, a gift from God to your family, or is it a gift of yourself to God? [God is giving you a tremendous gift this Christmas...what are you giving him?]

3. Do you expect a stressful holiday, or a stress-free Christmas? (The only stress in the Church is the stress YOU bring there; but if you do bring stress to Church, be sure to leave it there with God to deal with.)

Christmas can also be a wonderful time of peace, if we let it be so. Remember that Jesus, the Messiah, was prophesied to be, among other things, the "Prince of Peace." We have so many stressful things leading up to Christmas, and I hope you can take a moment to let those things go, and enjoy your Christmas morning. If you can't manage to leave the stress at the Church because you're staying up late to wrap those last few gifts, give yourself a gift: wrap one more box, and pour your stress into it. Then open it last on Christmas morning. At that time I hope you find, when you unwrap it, that the box empty, and your home is full of joy, charity, and family.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Then when it comes to New Years...

A. Are you expecting something special to happen just because the year is coming to an end?

B. Are you making any resolutions?

C. Are they things you can actually do?

D. Do you intend to start right away, or are you going to RESOLVE to begin something...a little later, when the conditions are right?

E. How can you expect to change unless you begin NOW?

The next couple of weeks are going to be busy times. There will likely be many parties to come: parties at work, at home, at Church, with friends, with family, with that special someone, with that special no one... and there are many occasions for joy and sorrow, overwhelming surprises and underwhelming disappointments. (Especially when it comes to gifts. "All I asked for was argyle socks and Home Depot gift cards...why does my Dad think that translates into an ugly sweater and something cheesy from the religious bookstore?"...or something like that...you know what I mean... [sorry dad, it was just an example, I swear...] )

All you can do is set your expectations on living each day in the presence of God, thanking him for all he provides, sharing with him your daily life, asking him to forgive what is past, and look to the future in EXPECTATION that you will work each day to fulfill his purpose for your life. The distance between EXPECTATION and REALITY is called STRESS!!!

EXPECTATIONS/\/\/\/\/STRESS/\/\/\/\/REALITY

The closer our EXPECTATIONS are to REALITY, the less stress we experience in our lives.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I pray you all have a wonderful stress-free Christmas and New Years!!!!

I would recommend a book for you to buy, but let's face it, you are probably all tapped for cash, and don't have time to read during these next 2 weeks anyhow.

As the next 2 Thursdays are Major Holidays, and it is VERY unlikely that I'll be anywhere near the Internet, and so I wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I offer my sincere thanks for those who read this blog and offer their kind support. I hope it brings you some spiritual nourishment or encouragement, and I will write again to you after the new year.

With All Blessings,

-Fr. Jon+

The 17th Dose: High Scores

I have a history of having "high-scoring" moments when no one else is paying attention, just God I suppose.... At least I'd like to think so.

When I was at East Texas State (...Texas A&M Commerce now...) I had one afternoon when I really had nothing else going on. In those days I was taking a lot of classes that spanned a whole day. One of my classes was at 8am, and I also had one that let out at 8pm. One semester I had a large bulk of classes in the morning, then around a 4 to 6-hour break in the middle of the day before my evening Sculpture class. Usually I spanned the time hanging out with friends, or getting ahead on work.

East Texas State (ET) was great. They had lots of cheap things to do to kill the hours. Cheap pool, cheap bowling, free workout center, and a 25-cent arcade. But for some reason, on one particular day, I had lunch, and decided to kill some of the time playing Galaga in the Student Union Building. So I began playing Galaga somewhere around 1pm. Before I knew it, I'd been standing there a while, and I happened to notice that my score was about to roll over 1 million!

I'd already had the high score for over an hour, but this was going to be the highest possible score! So I kept going. For those of you who don't play Galaga, or haven't become an expert (like me), Galaga only has something like 20 levels, so once you beat 20 levels it just starts over, but the score continues. Anyhow, I was about to break 1,000,000 on the score. It gradually inched up there. 900,000.... 910,000... 940,000... 960,000; 990,000!

And then, I DID IT!!!! I broke 1 MILLION on Galaga. But no one was there. I had no one to brag to. The only record was going to be my initials: JCJ. How would anyone know that was ME?!Then, as if that wasn't enough, I eventually had to go to class, so I just let my little spaceship get shot. I finally died. I was all set to let the record show that JCJ was the Ultimate Galaga Champion.

Unfortunately, just as the levels start over, so does the score. If you go over a million, it just assumes you've started over. [So if you ever find yourself at 999,900 on Galaga, just die. But don't run into another spaceship, it'll give you a score for killing them, and then you'll be over 1 million. Just let them shoot at you.] There was no proof of my achievement--just God smiling down at me saying, "Well done, good and faithful spaceship captain, now go to class!"

[I’ve had similar moments with Ms. Pac Man. I ROCK THE HOUSE at Ms. Pac man. I also have a theory about why she’s always just Ms. Pac Man and not Mrs. Pac Man…no one survives the game long enough to see them get married. He just keeps chasing her until her ghosts take her away…metaphor for dating-life....what do you think?!]

This last weekend, I went out to Camp Crucis to help Fr. Chuck Hough and Fr. Jeff Stubbs teach at Fall Rally. It was somewhat of a last-minute invitation, having only had about a week’s notice to get ready. But the Fathers and I pulled it together.

Anyhow, I usually make sure to take some time at camp to hear confessions. Usually, I hear a few, but they’re spread throughout the week. I always say that I hear more confessions at Camp than I do in my own Church, and I usually also hear more confession sitting at a bar than I do in the other two venues combined! But this year, that’s no longer true.

Due to the nature of our Priestly responsibilities, Fr. Hough, Fr. Stubbs and I all took parts of the weekend. Fr. Hough and I could only do Saturday. Fr. Stubbs could only do part of Saturday, and then Sunday morning. At any rate, the both of them had to leave early on Saturday, and I was left to handle the rounds of confession to be offered between our last afternoon theme-session and dinner.

Usually, when I “sit” for confession, and it is a lot of sitting, I just bring a book. Most of the time I spend improving my own spiritual life, and I’m occasionally interrupted to hear someone’s confession. This might sound a little dismissive, but I can’t MAKE people come confess, and I like to make good of my time in Church. Well, this time I forgot to bring a book…but I didn’t need one. I spent the ENTIRE TIME hearing confessions. I was there so long, that I missed dinner.

It didn’t even occur to me how long I was there until Monday when I ran into Fr. Stubbs who said, “I wish I could have sat and heard confessions for 3 hours straight!” I said, “I wasn’t there 3 hours, was I?” He said, “Well you started at 3:45 and dinner was at 6…and you apparently missed that entirely.”

It’s the longest I’ve ever sat and heard confessions, and in thinking about my high-scoring moments, it occurred to me that there are similarities. Every few minutes you start over, but the work (process) is the same. The score continues, but no one is there to count it, except God. He’s likely thinking, “Well done, good and faithful confessor…now move on to your next class!”

Some of our greatest achievements in life carry no bragging rights. We just do what we can, and do it well. And most of them aren’t nearly as fun as Galaga, or as important as confession. Usually they’re things like being a good parent, a good sibling, a good child, or a good child of God. You might achieve more than you ever have before, only there’s always more to learn about something else.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

WORD OF THE WEEK: PRIE DIEU (French. “Pray to God” )
[pronounced “pray-due”]

This is the name of that funny-looking kneeler that you’ve likely seen in your churches, which sometimes has a little shelf attached for books. This is also sometimes called a “prayer desk.” Some of them have confessional screens built in. When we spend some significant time praying before God, we often find our knees get sore or tired after a short time, and if you pray for a significant time, you might even find that your legs are asleep, and unable to carry you away. What a wonderful affliction!

There’s so much I could address about the act of praying, but I think the thing I want to point out about this particular term is the fact that it has no other purpose. Pillows and cushions can be used in other contexts, but a prayer desk or prie-dieu is only used for time with God which we designate to spend, usually alone, in a designated space away from the world.

To get good prayer time in, whether you’re at home, at work, or at Church, it helps to set yourself apart from the normal distractions. Churches are good places for this because the only things that are in the Church to distract you from the outside world are the things YOU bring into it. When you go somewhere to pray, leave behind distractions. Go in a different room, in the back yard, or take a walk around the block, and leave behind you phone, laptop, your ipod, and whatever else will take your attention away from a conversation with God. I find that EVERY time I do this, God shows me something I wouldn’t have seen or noticed with my usual distractions.

Set aside a time EVERY DAY to pray to God, and if you can manage, set aside a time soon to go see your Priest and make a good confession. Then, once you’ve let go of your sins, and left your baggage in the Church, go out and thank God for taking that load off of you. Start fresh. It’s the best gift you can give yourself for Christmas this year. Only 14 “shopping/confessing” days left before Christmas!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
BOOK OF THE WEEK: St. Augustine’s Prayer Book

This is a small affordable book of prayers that EVERYONE should own. As opposed to most traditional church prayerbooks, this one is meant for an individual, not a group. It contains within its pages, brief prayers for Morning, Noon, Evening, and Bedtime, as well as blessings over meals, and other specific prayers for special occasions.

It also contains pages on examining your own conscience before a confession, saying prayers to God by yourself before Mass, the Rosary, Stations of the Cross, and all kinds of little novenas and special prayers for certain occasions.

If you don’t own this book, BUY IT! I couldn’t find any copies available on Amazon, but check with your local bookstore, or you can usually find it (if you’re in Ft. Worth) at Stella Maris Books/St. Anthony’s Church Supply on McCart just south of Berry.

I use this book every day for my own personal prayer times, when no one else shows up for Morning Prayer or Evening Prayer. I find it to be somewhat schizophrenic to play the part of the Celebrant and the People to myself! The St. Augustine’s Prayerbook is meant for an individual at prayer, and it is a terrific resource to have, not on your shelf, but in your hand on a daily basis. Try it, you’ll see what I mean.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

INSERT COINS or

WAIT TILL NEXT THURSDAY TO CONTINUE

HIGH SCORE
999,000 JC

(Jesus Christ, not JCJ)

The 16th Dose: Rejection and Humility

I hope you all had a fine Thanksgiving break last weekend. I had a great time hanging out with by Brother Sebastian and sister-in-law Lisa. I give special thanks to God for those who arranged my flight for me, and to my parish for giving me a few days of peace!

The day before I left town, I cooked dinner for my Mom, my Dad, and my Brother at my home. It was a great dinner, we and a great time sharing stories, however, I think something was afoot. I didn't recognize it at the time, but later, it made a difference.

My brother has a very large black labrador retriever named "Fenway," after the ball-park in Boston. Mom and Dad both refer to him as their "grand-dog." It didn't occur to me at the time, but they spoke to my fish Mikey, and yet neither of them referred to him as their "grandfish." I should have paid more attention.

In a last minute scurry to find someone to watch Mikey while I was out of town, I asked a few local friends, but it seems everyone had something going on. So in a last-ditch-effort, I had my Dad watch my fish. I took him in his travel bowl over to Pop's place.

Now, I should mention that I usually take him with me everywhere I go, when I travel. He's been to Camp Crucis several times, to a clergy retreat or two, and he even rode with Fr. Scott and I to St. Louis and back in September--always in his travel-bowl.

Anyhow, once I got back home last Friday, I received a call from my father that my fish Mikey was dead. The story was that he came home and found Mikey's bowl empty. At first Pop thought he'd jumped into the sink, and so he took apart the garbage disposal looking for him. Then, a short while later, Dad claims to have found him under a stool on the other side of the kitchen counter. He said he tried to put him back into his bowl, and he reported that Mikey revived for a few hours, and eventually went "belly-up." I'd like to think that Mikey defended the house from the attack of Chuck Norris (who IS likely limping somewhere in Texas). But my fear is that Mikey ended his own life.

"Why," might you ask, "would a fish have a motivation for suicide?" I think its because he thought my parents didn't accept him as a grand-fish. Maybe he thought it was because he was Asian. Rejection can be such a horrible thing.

Most of life's great traumas come at the hand of rejection of one kind or another. When we are not accepted, allowed to join the group, or welcomed into a family or a gathering, we feel slighted, hurt, and at times, without meaning or purpose. So much of our identity comes at the hand of love and charity from those who accept us, strange as we are. Even when we are rejected early in life by a parent and another takes their place the simple knowledge that we were once rejected or abandoned can leave lasting scars on the psyche, leaving a mess to be cleaned up later.

But rejection also forces humility. It forces us to look at ourselves, and to determine whether we are truly being rejected, or whether something really isn't wrong with us at all. Perhaps we really don't belong in the crowds we long to be a part of, and that might not be such a bad thing.

As we prepare for the coming of our Lord in this Advent season, my mind centers on the Holy Family, Joseph and the young pregnant Mary. They were rejected from having a place to rest as Mary was so very near to giving birth to Jesus. I always love the Advent plays performed by the children, but it seems in those plays that Mary and Joseph only knocked on one door, and then settled for a barn. I firmly believe Mary and Joseph knocked on more than a few doors looking for a place to bed-down and prepare for the birth of Jesus.

But rejection forced humility. Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords was born in a humble barn, and laid to rest in his fragile newborn state in a filthy feeding trough. But this humble little prince was made a most glorious king through the continual act of rejection forcing humility.

Jesus constantly encountered the feeling of not belonging, except when he was among the poor. Jesus was crowded by the humble and meek, and yet found that he didn't get much of a welcome among the rich, the prestigious, and the leaders of the temple.

And, of course, at the end of his life Jesus was forced to give his witness in the temple, forced to bear a cross, forced to humble himself in pain, nails forced into his hands and feet, vinegar forced into his mouth...and then in humility, just as he came into the world, Jesus faithfully accepts what life put in his path, and forgives those who reject him. and he continues to do so.

Jesus forgives us no matter how many times we reject him. He forgave his Apostles who abandoned him in his most desperate hours and spent time with them after his resurrection. So he forgives us and celebrates with us each time we bring him back into our lives. And in humility, we find potential for healing and even RESURRECTION.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

WORD OF THE WEEK: Advent (Latin. Adventus = "coming")

This time of year, we keep Advent, which is a preparation for the coming of the Lord. But how does Jesus come. or what aspect of his coming do we celebrate?

The way I see it, Advent is about the coming of Jesus in at least 3 distinctive ways:
1. The coming of Jesus in the Incarnation/Nativity
2. The Second Coming of Jesus as described in the Revelation to John
3. The coming of ourselves to Jesus.

In the Nativity, we recall each Christmas the coming of Jesus, the Word of God, into the world, "taking on flesh and dwelling among us" (John 1:14). This commemorates the great miracle of the Incarnation (in carne= "in the flesh"), the moment the Son of God begins the work of redeeming the world through humility and sacrifice--humility in becoming man, sacrifice in giving up his life as a sacrifice for all.

In looking forward to the 2nd Advent or the 2nd Coming of Jesus, we recall our need to be prepared with clean hearts and souls to be judged by the humble king who challenges us to love him by keeping his Father's Commandments (read the entire 17th Chapter of John, and quiz yourself to see if you even know the 10 Commandments [Exodus 20:1-17]). This part of celebrating Advent puts us to the task of checking in on ourselves and putting things back in order which might be going amiss. Just like Lent, Advent is a time of preparation and self-reflection.

This brings us to the 3rd aspect or perspective of Advent, the coming of ourselves to Jesus. When we find ourselves distant from our Lord, it's probably because WE have moved. Jesus constantly seeks us, seeks our voices, seeks our attention in our prayers. Worshipping God the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is our first vocation, or our 1st calling, 1st voice to be heard each day. Simply coming to God in prayer, letting him know that it is only by his holy will that we exist, and seeking first to praise him, without asking for things we want, is our greatest possible endeavor, and we all need a dose of it daily. It doesn't have to be long, but in those first few short minutes we set the tone for a day spent with God rather than a day on our own.

Jesus has come, and he is coming again, but we can close the distance between our souls and heaven so he doesn't have such a hard job of looking for all of us lost sheep...sheep who belong in the barn feeding from the manger.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Well, I think that's enough for this week. I have a number of books in mind to recommend, but I think it'd be better if you all spent this 1st week of Advent preparing for the Lord to come into your lives on Christmas morning. Make an advent wreath, buy an advent calendar, and make each sunday an invitation to the Lord to come into your life, share your dinner table, and prepare in humility for his coming into your lives.

Happy Advent everyone!
Fr. Jon+